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Fear

EXPECTATIONS, depicts the struggle between what we desire for ourselves and our familial obligations. This is personified by Chris and Matt Taylor, identical twins, who are trying to win their overbearing father’s approval and acquire their trust funds. Their best friend and roommate, Aiden O’Boyle, left his family behind in Ireland to pursue a career in dance.

Aiden: You’d think I wasn’t afraid of anything. I came to America with a college scholarship and $300 seven years ago. Knowing no one and nothing much except for dance, one might say it was a fearless thing to do. That wasn’t scary. It was necessary. Actually, staying would’ve been far more terrifying for me. Here I don’t need to worry about my safety. I make more here in a month than the farm in Ireland pulled in a year.

            Fear is a funny word. It means something different for every person. No two people will have the same fears for the same reasons. So many people have a paralyzing fear of being on stage. That comes naturally to me. Public speaking? I do it every day when I teach. It’s not scary, amazing. That’s the only word to describe how it feels to watch someone else feel the magic of dance.

For that reason, sometimes I don’t know what I love more, the teaching or the dancing, which is again something I never thought I’d contemplate. Think about the power teachers hold. The ability to let the student into the world of their passion. Every victory for a student is also one for the instructor. That’s why the connection between teacher and the student can be so strong. But, there’s also a distance, which I’m all too glad to keep.

Connection… doesn’t come so easily for me. Despite making close friends with Chris and Matt, or as close as you could be with two people who don’t know your birth name, I still have so many secrets. Lately, I’ve wanted to break the wall, at least with Chris. I almost did the other night, but instead we fought. The truth is THIS is what I’m afraid of. Terrified, actually.  The last time I opened up was to my family and…we know how that turned out. It just gets lonely behind the wall, ya know?

What are you most afraid of? Why? 

I'll go first. I'm afraid every time I go to push publish on this blog. It's putting something that's very important to me up for public scrutiny.

As always, I welcome your thoughts!

Tights

EXPECTATIONS, depicts the struggle between what we desire for ourselves and our familial obligations. This is personified by Chris and Matt Taylor, identical twins, who are trying to win their overbearing father’s (Robert) approval and acquire their trust funds. Their best friend and roommate, Aiden O’Boyle, left his family behind in Ireland to pursue a career in dance.

Chris: The moon was full and it glistened off the waves. We’d been sitting on the beach for two hours. I dug my toes into the sand and glanced at Matt. Few words need to be spoken between twins. We’d discussed the whole thing to death anyway.  When he looked at me, he touched his chin. Clearly, he had to remind me about my split lip. Otherwise, I might’ve gone ten minutes without thinking about it. We couldn't chance that.

            I stood and tossed a shell into the ocean. My father had been calling me ‘soft’ for years. I got used to it. My refusal to conform to his ideals forced him to lower his expectations. No longer was I expected to help run the business in 15 years time. That didn’t change the fact that I still had to project the requisite image to his associates. One of girls at school had a costume party for graduation. I went as Hamlet. My friend, Sarah, went as Ophelia. We won ‘best couple’. Pictures ended up on the school website…and in the yearbook, which was left on the dinning room table. I thought it was cool.

My Dad had never been so ashamed in all his life. He lectured about what it meant to be a real man.That did not include putting on tights.The fact that we won made it worse. I could've stayed quiet. I didn't. I argued back. Thus, the split lip. The fact that he hit me surprised everyone, especially him. I think I was more shocked than hurt.

If I wanted to get back at him, I’d show up at his board meeting and answer truthfully when asked what happened. I don’t. I just want to live my own life. There has to be a way to do that and still make him proud.

I bent to grab another shell. This time I threw it hard and watched it bounce, resisting its fate to live forever with sea life. It didn't get a choice. I did. “Let’s get out of here.”

“We’re leaving Friday.” Matt said, knowing I wasn't talking about going home for the night.

“Why? We can go in the morning. What’s keeping us here?” I asked. Facing him was like looking in a mirror. Therefore, I could never tell if the emotions on his face were a reflection of mine. I hoped I was doing a better job of conveying confidence. After a moment of locking eyes, he nodded.

. Distance was the only compromise. If my Dad only saw the more favorable qualities of my life, I'd be OK, right?

Please share your thoughts. Is this the fairest way? Or do both parent and child lose out here?

Punishment

EXPECTATIONS, depicts the struggle between what we desire for ourselves and our familial obligations. This is personified by Chris and Matt Taylor, identical twins, who are trying to win their overbearing father’s approval and acquire their trust funds. Their best friend and roommate, Aiden O’Boyle, left his family behind in Ireland to pursue a career in dance.

Chris: Sophomore year Matt and I were away at boarding school and at breakfast I find had no meal plan. Odd. It was fine the night before. We assumed it was a glitch in the system and Matt got us both breakfast without thinking much of it. But we had different lunches and it still wasn’t working. Three hours later I walked, in my school uniform sweater and an empty stomach, through the heat wave that was encompassing South California that April to check my bank account. Two weeks prior there was $3,500. Now? $50. A thousand different scenarios ran through my mind.  Being a fairly imaginative guy, I came up with everything from armed robberies, very skilled hackers, to a bank error. Anything seemed possible.

            I spent the next four hours, until dinner on the phone with the bank, trying to get anyone to talk to me. They refused because I was a minor. The answer would be much easier to come by if I could get into contact with my Dad. Finally, Matt got a hold of him at 9:50, which was amazing because quiet time started at 10.

I regained my composure before taking the phone. Dramatics never went over well with him. Turns out, there was no hacker, no thief, and no bank error. In fact, he cut my meal plan and emptied my account.

Why? My progress report came in the mail the day before and my math grade was less than stellar. He then launched into a 20 minute speech about how math was more important than art and I needed to prioritize my time if I hoped to succeed. I only half listened. All I really remember was ‘If Matt can do it, why can’t you?’

That’s what I was really being punished for. What I’ve always been punished for.

Ireland

EXPECTATIONS, depicts the struggle between what we desire for ourselves and our familial obligations. This is personified by Chris and Matt Taylor, identical twins, who are trying to win their overbearing father’s approval and acquire their trust funds. Their best friend and roommate, Aiden O’Boyle, left his family behind in Ireland to pursue a career in dance.

Aiden: Walking home from Kindergarten in late December, I won’t ever forget that day. It had been a harsh winter and wasn’t getting any milder. Wrapping my arms across my chest, I shivered and wiped my running nose in my sleeve. My legs were shaking underneath the threadbare jeans I was already out growing. Stopping wasn’t an option. If I didn’t get home in time to collect the chicken eggs we wouldn’t eat dinner. My father was mere days away from teaching me to kill our fattest hen. He’d mentioned it in his drunken stupor the night before, but I wasn't thinking about it that afternoon, only about getting home quickly.

            That all changed when I walked past the old hardware store that was turned into a dance studio. I was captivated as I watched the men and women. Their bodies became one with the music. I watched the instructor guide and relax them. The only word that could describe what I saw was magic. Soon, I forgot about the cold. There was now a fire within me to keep me warm. Dance. Standing at the window, I watched the entire class. An hour passed as though it were a minute and there would be hell to pay when I got home. It didn’t matter, not then. The instructor, and soon, mentor, let me into lessons for the price of keeping the studio clean.

            Dance sustained me through all the hard times on the farm. I survived the nights without heat, when I would give my food to Meghan, my sister, and my Momma, so they could eat. It was a fire that never so much as flickered. My father couldn’t have been more humiliated to have an acclaimed dancer for a son. When he heard, I paid in blood. It was worth it. I learned to hide. Then, at 17, I couldn’t anymore. Started NYU without the possibility of ever returning home. I was as good as dead to him.

My only regrets? The look of devastation and tears in Momma’s eyes. And Meghan begging me not to go. They didn’t deserve the pain. I guess, I made the decision a long time before. 

So, my life in Ireland was dead.

    

Was there another option? A better way? Thanks for the engagement everyone!

Rich

EXPECTATIONS, depicts the struggle between what we desire for ourselves and our familial obligations. This is personified by Chris and Matt Taylor, identical twins, who are trying to win their overbearing father’s approval and acquire their trust funds. Their best friend and roommate, Aiden O’Boyle, left his family behind in Ireland to pursue a career in dance.

    Matt: People think being rich is glamorous. Those on the outside don’t know what it’s like. They look at the boarding schools, swimming pools, new cars before you turn 15, and they think ‘where can I sign up for that life?’ They don’t see what’s underneath. They don’t realize that kids whose parents work 80-90/hr weeks don’t know them.  When your father schemes day and night on ways to build the empire he doesn’t have time for fishing trips or amusement parks. Do you know what it’s like to get your first business suit at age three? Chris and I were trained to run the business before we were toilet trained. 

We were smart kids, we had to be. We learned to read before most could say the alphabet. Top schools from day one. There was no other way. We had to be the very best at everything because our father was the very best. That’s the truth about being rich. There are expectations that you can’t escape. You wouldn’t think that a child’s inability to tie his shoes ‘on schedule’ would have an impact on multibillion dollar family, but, apparently, it does.

Really, it’s all very simple. Our father wasn’t about to let ‘two punk kids jeopardize his hard earned success’. The thought of having a hand in ‘producing’ something, or someone, less ‘valuable’ than he, was his worst nightmare.  I don’t know what that would mean for us. I hope to not find out anytime soon.

There it is. That’s what it means to be rich. Wealthy parents want you to fit into the mold they set in their minds before you were even born. Doesn’t matter if you want to, or can. It’s how the rich get richer. Not so glamorous, is it?

 

What do you think? Is Matt right? Is it just wealthy parents who have a picture of what they expect their kids to be? Is a parent's mental picture ever really attainable?

Please share in the comments. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thanks for reading!

Introduction

I’m Liz. One of main goals in my life is to write. To inspire. Well, I realized that I can write all day and all night, but unless I get it out into the world I can’t inspire. I love to read blogs. I set time each day to connect with people online. They’ve all given me so much through encouragement, opportunities for guest posts, and their wonderful upbeat outlooks. I wanted to be part of the community.

But this blog isn’t all about me. It’s about stories because that’s how people connect best. Sometimes the stories have high emotions, actually usually they will. My writing is rarely politically correct, but it is authentic. So, the plan, right now is to share some of my writing. 

Sometimes, the posts will be written by me, most times by my characters. At the beginning of each post there'll be a synopsis of the work and character names. You’ll get to know them and they can be your friends, as they’re mine.

This is new. Characters have given interviews and tweeted, but I’m taking this to a whole another level. It’s scary, but I also know it’s gonna be amazing. 

If you want to know more about my blog, novel, and ambitions, please check out this interview with Writers News Weekly. http://www.writersnewsweekly.com/features.php

By reading this blog you’ll be stepping into the world of my mind. Watch out for broken glass. Thank you for sharing this with me.